What to Talk About on the Phone During Physical Distancing

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Is your phone making a weird sound? Don’t panic! This means someone is calling you. Here’s how to talk on the phone while physical distancing

Do you see this weird buzzing box in your hand? Yes, it’s a bottomless portal to the parsing of horrifying world news and/or pictures of everybody’s #pandemicmuffins. But it is also a Phone, and you can talk on it—with your mouth. (WAIT, WHAT?!) It’s kind of like texting, but you say the words out loud. Phone-talking is a useful skill to have right now and, since everyone is a bit out of practice, here’s a quick refresher.

Step 1: What is Phone?

Cast your mind back. It’s 1989. You’re desperate to lose your virginity, blissfully unaware of how singularly disappointing this experience will be (thanks for nothing, Brett). You spend three hours a day examining important matters with your friends on…

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